January 21, 1994
It’s Friday, Anna and I were together all night. We left the school at 3:15 after we talked to Fran and Ron about tutoring. We drove around and went out by his workplace at 3:30. We were out there until 3:40 and 4 PM because we didn’t see him, but I think we were two cars away behind him and missed him.
I saw his daughters getting into the truck that was parked at his house all that time. We stayed around his house until 4:10. When I saw him getting into his car and started driving he went around the apartment driveway and we followed him uptown. He turned off one block away from the library and we turned there and kept going, turned up the road and came back to the library and he was leaving but he parked after seeing us and went inside. I gave him the 15 page letter and he said you have a lot of feelings to discuss here. I said Yep and before that Anna and I were walking in laughing all the way. I also gave him a calendar that Anna was looking at the whole time we were at the library which was from 4:20 to 4:45 PM. We didn’t talk a lot but we smiled at each other a lot. I asked him if he wanted to read the book I bought and he said yes and I told him he would have to give it back. I showed him a picture I think resembles him and he said it didn’t look like anyone he knew. I said OK and gave him the book and he re-looked at it, but didn’t say anything. He talked to Anna some too.
He didn’t touch me at all (how sad) he also told me he had to go so he took the calendar out of her hand and we all left. We followed him and he got out at the lights by Casey’s and he turned on his single like he was going to turn, but then he went straight. Anna and I talked about how maybe he was taking me out to the dirt road where nobody would know us. Anna told me with her being with us and I said you’ll stay in my car of course. And we both started laughing and then he turned off at the auto store and I almost did, but then turned around at another auto store and went there.
Anyway he came over and we talked a little. He gave me $3 for gas and he said that he had to go to the store and I asked which one and he asked why I said because it’s either you telling me now or me following you there and he wouldn’t tell me. And I told him that we would probably end up following a cop later tonight but right now it’s better to follow the off-duty one. And he didn’t tell me not to or to do so I assume he didn’t mind. I also told him that he could give me $5 more and he laughed. I also told him that a half a tank of gas wouldn’t do us for the night. That’s when I got the $3. Then we followed him and he went on an off road to the parking lot of another store and went to one of the stores we turned around and parked. We listened to the radio and waited until he went to his car and walked somewhere else and he smiled at me. Then we waited even longer and finally he came and said he was going or something and Anna said “I can’t hear you”. And then we followed him to the grocery store and he parked by my brother and we parked went inside and got some soda and we talk to him some and told him that he parked by my brother and we looked at each other, we got the soda and we looked at movies then he left and we went out to the car he waited for us and we followed him home and Anna kind of waved and I saw him wave but down by his legs and winked at me. I smiled. Man, I miss him anyway. That was 5:45 PM what an hour! It was so much fun. He also went to the doctors office and he parked at the school and waited. He looked at us. He left and we followed.
Then Anna and I went to her house and stayed there for a little while and we decided to go out to Morgan’s and she wasn’t home, we got lost out on the county roads and took an hour to get back to the highway then we played passing and re-passing this car. Got back at 8:45 PM and was on our way to Scott‘s house. Before we went to Morgan‘s house we went by Mikey’s house and the car was gone and we looked around town and couldn’t find it so we left to go Morgan’s house anyway when we got back he was back, there was no answer when we tried his house before we went to Morgan’s. We went past Scott’s and almost wrecked and then decided to go to the post and it’s out of town. We talked to three of the security guards, who worked there. Anna knows most of them due to her mom working there before. I talked about my boyfriend all night long. Got back to town at 11:30 and followed cops all over town. It took a little while to find them and we weren’t that obvious at first.
January 22, 1994
Then at 12:15 AM or so we found Officer Gregory (we didn’t know who at first) we followed him out by the high school and for a while before he turned off and parked off at the parking lot and we saw the other police officer and when we went by he flipped his lights on and off and we both knew something was up they had trapped us. Then Anna was trying to find something from the back and we saw the lights go on – the same one that pulled me over the last time (the car that is) and I kept repeating I wasn’t speeding and Anna said I know.
Then a cop came up on Anna’s side and I thought it was Terry so I almost said something to him, but it wasn’t so at least I didn’t say what I wanted to. Officer Johnson (the same one that was at the game 12-7-93) said, “so girls how is your night tonight”. And Anna is like OK. Then Officer Gregory came up on my side. He’s not too bad looking. He asked us why we were following him and we said we were just driving around and putting miles on my car he reasked me and I said I was just putting miles on the car. And Officer Johnson asked if we had been drinking and he shined his flashlight in my car and we said no. They kept shining the flashlight on our shirts. I was trying to breathe correctly so they didn’t notice that I was scared. Anna kept handing me stuff from my wallet and I kept talking to her. Even Anna was nervous. They also said “well, I see you two are wearing your seatbelts” and we said “we always do”. Then Officer Gregory said “so am I going to see some ID‘s and I gave him mine. Anna and I were discussing how we couldn’t tell anyone about it and how we had to cover it. Then we heard “my name no conventions” but we still denied it to each other that they ran it they were just trying to scare us. Then they both came back and he reasked me again and I stuck with the story that we were just driving around.
Officer Gregory said “well you were making one nervous cop” and Officer Johnson said “and that’s one thing you don’t need.” Again they shined their flashlights on our shirts and Officer Gregory said “and now I know your address.” Then they let us go and we turned off at the gas station and Officer Johnson cut us off and pissed me off. He was smiling and laughing and now I think he just wanted us to get us laughing and not be so nervous from it all or maybe he was just being an Asshole — who knows— I’ll write it off as he was trying to get us to laugh. Maybe he noticed we were scared. We tried to get gas but we were too nervous so we drove out by the police station and one was going back out we looked at him and him at us and then he went on and we went a block up and we met again then we got gas and went out by Mikey’s house and went home. We had also told them that we were on our way home. Anna and I were too hyper to go to sleep right away so we didn’t sleep until 3 AM we got home five minutes early.
We left my house at 12:30 PM to go back out for the night. We went back to the post and talked to the security guards which we also explained about what happened that night. And one had told the other that we were up there the night before. The one that wasn’t there last night told us we could come back tonight and he could pull us over and we said but we don’t speed down here and he said “nobody speeds down here, but I can still pull you over.” We also told the one that was there last night that when one of them had put his lights on us it was an omen and Anna said yeah later that night we saw red blue and bright light behind us. We had two cop cars behind us — that was scary.
Then we went out by Mikey’s and to his workplace and we got to her house at 4 PM. I left At 5 PM and drove around until 7 PM and went out to her house just to find out Anna’s dad had heard it on the scanner but wasn’t going to tell on us. I was nervous. Anna’s mom even let us go out until 8:30 only because Anna’s brother was missing and when she got home she was in a mean mood, so I left and got home at 9:45. I yawned and Anna’s dad said “not getting enough sleep Hun.” And I said “Anna spent the night with me” and Anna’s Grandma said “that would do it”. I went to bed at 10 PM and I was tired. I love Mikey – friends or more is the question?
08/02/2021 — I hate reading the part where Officer Gregory said “well you were making one nervous cop” and Officer Johnson said “and that’s one thing you don’t need.” Again they shined their flashlights on our shirts and Officer Gregory said “and now I know your address.” I mean it wasn’t the first time we followed them, so they knew exactly who we were. They also knew who we were because of who Anna’s mom was and the fact that we were at the games with Mikey when they were there. I had forgotten that they were shining their flashlights on us like they were and him saying “and now I know your address.” It is scary how much I would have forgotten if I had not written so much in my journals. It was also a few days later when a car that looked like Officer Gregory drove by my house. I really didn’t think about it much at the time, but now it’s scary how much the other police officers did to us throughout this time frame. As an adult, I don’t even want to think how many times we had put ourselves in danger all because we assumed that the police officers in town would protect us since we were Anna’s mom’s girls, but instead they thought they could do more to us because they knew we couldn’t go to Anna’s mom because we would get in trouble. Thanks to having my journals, I know why we blamed so many of them for not helping us, it’s because they were doing things that they shouldn’t either. It’s funny how Mikey said friends only and then the other officers started pulling us over and making stride remarks towards us. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the other, but what I do know is they knew who we were. So they had no reason to be nervous. We had been following police officers since October 1993 and they got nervous on January 22, 1994 over 3 months later. DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO ME. And I guess there will always be some things that will never make sense to me.
Letter – January 25, 1994 – Letter
PRIMERO,
Well I’ll be seeing you tonight at the game, because mom won’t let me go out on Thursday and she’s afraid the weather will get bad if it doesn’t then I’ll see you Friday. Anna might be with me, too. I missed your phone call yesterday. I just got done doing my Spanish test. I also have a chemistry test today.
From now on if I write you a letter with a lot of feelings in it, try your hardest to call me at least the following week day, because I get to feeling that I made you mad or something. A teacher once told me that I’m bad at assuming my friends are mad at me and taking things wrong. I’ve realized that lately too, but it’s hard for me to fix it, but I’m trying.
You are doing me a lot of good, I’ve got hopes up and can wear a smile on my face more. I can deal with my feelings and problems as they come. I don’t just bury them under my skin until I can’t deal with them without thinking of suicide. I’m proud to say that I haven’t thought of it since you started calling me. You make my days and life brighter than I’ve ever remembered them. Thanks a lot.
You’ll never guess what happened to me on Friday night 12:30 AM, so it was really Saturday. Yes I got pulled over by two police officers. It was Gregory and Johnson (no question about it, it was the one from the game). Because Anna and I had been following him and he got nervous and wanted to know why. I’ll probably give you more details tonight. We went to the gas station to get gas when we left Johnson cut us off we almost hit him and he was laughing. We got home at 12:55 AM and my curfew is 1 AM but Anna and I were so hyper and laughing about it we couldn’t sleep until 3 AM. And we didn’t tell parents, but Anna’s father heard on the scanner he’s not telling anyone, but still.
My question is why they kept asking our names when I know — they knew them and who we were. It’s not like that night was the first time we followed them. Also why did Gregory say, “and now I know your address.” Kinda creepy if you ask me. End of letter.
What a night?
It started out leaving the school at 3:05 and going to some stores. We (Anna and I) drove around a little bit. We were at his workplace when they let out but I didn’t see him. We even waited for him and went on the property. We went by the nursing home and his wife was working so then we went by the Police Station and his car wasn’t there so we went back out by his house and he was there so I got mad.
Then we went to turn around and he was walking to his car so I parked and waited for him we were laughing and he smiled at us we followed him to the grocery store and as we were going in he was coming out so I went and looked at something and left I told him to go to library but he said he had too many errands to run. So I gave him a smaller letter after he asked if I had another 15 page letter for him and I said no. He also said he had to get his car inspected.
So we followed him out to that auto shop and he was acting as crazy as we were and copying me until I got Anna driving from the passenger side. Then we passed him and turned around and then went by where he was and took a circle drive and went back by. Then his butt was sticking in the air so I turned around again and we passed each other. I shrugged my shoulders and he smiled. I turned around and sped to catch up. (65 mph) when we did he went the backway like we usually do if we’re going to Anna’s house so we thought he was. It kind of made me nervous. Then he passed Anna’s Street and we decided he was going to Walmart and we were right.
I got $3 from him there and talked a little bit. I leaned backwards and he came real close to me and we rubbed each other and he stopped to look at me and we smiled at each other. We also walked over to the other store and I told him we would be at the game and he told us Scott would be there Wednesday or Thursday. She almost killed me. We were going to be going that day. I also told him to call Wednesday and Thursday. And that we had to go to the library. We went and called mom.
Then we went out by his house and then out by Scott‘s. We put 20 miles on the car just going back-and-forth. When she called him they said he was gone and that made us mad since we had seen him so many times that night. We got to the game 10 minutes late and TLCASAP was on. We went inside and I said we’re late and he smiled at me. We hung around each other a lot that night looking at each other and stuff but we didn’t talk a lot.
I got $2 from him to get another friend inside, but we didn’t use it. Anna and I also got $2 back because we work the concession stand. I wish we could have been together more, but at least we saw each other.
Ever since he told me just friends I feel it’s been different. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s different. I miss the old times I wished them away and now I can’t live it. I miss him so much and I will always love him.
Officer Wood was there and some girl named Diane but anyway. We talked a little after the game to Diane and him. He says it was Thursday for Scott. Diane apologized for not saying hi. She also asked about Anna being after Scott and he was smiling at me.
I wanted to cry because I couldn’t say much. I did tell him he was supposed to say Wednesday and Diane said everybody knows there’s no game on Wednesday. Before that he brought some popcorn and I gave him it and our hands rubbed each other’s and we both smiled.
He also went outside with Diane and when he went back in he gave the door person a dollar to donate and I said here just give me the program. And he said that will work and we smiled again. Anna and I got done so I went looking for him and practically ran into him. God, I want us to at least be able to talk. It’s like we’re afraid someone will see. If we’re just friends who cares but I don’t think he feels that way. I know I don’t. What is the boundary line of a friendship? I asked that a lot. After dropping Anna off, I went by the Police Station and he was pulling out. I turned around and followed him home. He better call tonight. I got home smiling at 10 PM on the dot. I want us to be able to talk and see each other more. One of these days.
January 26, 1994
Phone call: He called at 4:15 to 425. Only 10 minutes, but that’s 10 minutes more than the day before. Things we talked about in no order. Being able to go to the game, Anna and Scott. Explain what happened in the office with boyfriends. Essay and the spelling in the notes we made so we could go and I wouldn’t be going to Friday nights game. When I graduate and how old I will be when my brother does too. He says you’ll be 19 and I said 18. We talked about when I’ll get the car.
“It took you long enough to get the phone”. I told him I was working on an essay and that I could win a trip to Washington DC and he said “you can do it”. He also asked if it’s for English and I said English lit.
How to go by Anna‘s and if the car is there I’m going to the game if not call me. He also said I would do fine on the essay when I told him to wish me luck. He also said that I was special to be able to write so well. He said, “You are so smart, I’m glad I have gotten to know you.”
I told him not to tell Scott anything I had told him and he said he wouldn’t play cubit for anyone. I wanted to say he did for me. We also talked about PRIMERO and how I misspelled it on one test and not the other. He was on the pay phone. He also said it was cold and the window was down. I said really he said it could go up some and that he had his heater on that he calls a hair dryer. We also talked about the friend we got into the last game because he asked who he paid the way in for. When my car got inspected and how I thought it was in June he said “I know it is” I asked “how” and he said “I’m a cop I know these things.”
08/02/2021 — He would always tell me how smart I was and how special I was. He was also trying to build my self-esteem up. The words he would say did make me feel good at the time, but it was all his way of making me feel like he loved and cared about me. When he said, “I’m a cop, I know these things.” should have been a red flag for me, but at this time I trusted him. The statement tells me he had gotten my information before I even gave it to him. I wonder if he didn’t have the officers pull me over that night to get more information and then he could make me feel like he was the only one I could trust. Who knows — all I know is reading that comment makes me scared all over again.
January 27, 1994 — What a night!
We went all the way over to Scott’s house to see him getting into his car in uniform. For all I care he could go to hell after I found out what all I found out last night. Anyway, We was going to follow him but we lost him and met him back in town.
He made me so @#$%en mad last night. We ran a stop sign and Mikey saw it because he brought it up at the game and I said “yeah I know, I make sure both police cars are at the station and then I run them all.” We laughed, but I wasn’t in a laughing mood. I told him about Caroline’s sister and that I didn’t know what happened. He got to the police station at the same time we were going around. That’s how he saw me run the stop sign.
Then when we saw Scott go by we turned around and there was a girl driving it. It made me so mad but not as mad as I’ll get throughout the night once Anna leaves.
Anyway we got into the game free and we had sodas. I talk to Mikey a lot, but I still feel that something has changed. I still haven’t put 2 and 2 together yet, but something has definitely changed.
Jessica says that he’s getting scared because of my age and how he could go to jail just like that. And she kept repeating it and saying how she hated pigs. Well, I don’t like people calling them that. Mikey is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t care what anybody else says he is. Anna wouldn’t talk to Scott much. She went up to him and gave him Mikey’s pen and later I went up to him and got it back and told him bye for her. She was pretty upset with the girl being there. I threw soda on his car. Now I wish I would have flattened the son of a bitch’s tire too. I talked to the girlfriend asking her who she was hoping for and she said the other team. If anyone says Mikey is just using me they better think again, because we haven’t even kissed. What Scott did to Anna was mean and proves to me that he was just using her. I almost called him a SOB to his face.
No order. I was so nervous around Scott he gave me the dirtiest looks and I got so mad. I was telling Jessica it took me five minutes to get to Barnett and Mikey said “yeah with that lead foot of yours” and smiled. I used his pen for English literature and to write a note to Scott. Anna got the pen from me so she could talk to Scott then we talked about getting it back. When she left I went and told Scott she said bye and that I needed to pen back.
Then Mikey kept wanting the pen back but I wouldn’t let him have it. Mikey and I talked about Caroline’s sister a little bit, but I said since I didn’t know what happened I wasn’t going to assume anything. And he said “I hear you there”. And I told him to call me on Friday. And he said he would.
Every time we looked at each other we would smile and every time I turned around he was looking. There was a fight and all three of them had to leave and I went outside and saw Mikey running and I waited for him. Before they got back Anna had to leave so I wrote a letter note to Scott and Mikey got back and we talked about Scott‘s girlfriend, the note, and if I was going to give it to him and I said I didn’t know.
Mikey kept saying he didn’t know until I gave him the pen then he would tell me. I said I wasn’t giving it back and he said he wouldn’t tell me the names. And Scott would be back after he got done with the people. We walked outside and we were talking and we were walking towards my car and Diane walked up so we talked a little bit until I heard taking 41 back to the game. And realized Anna told me Scott’s number and not Mikey’s one day.
Then I went to my car and listened to the radio and watched Mikey and Diane look at a car that was parked wrong and then I went inside after 15 to 20 minutes. Then Mikey was talking to Scott. He decided to go to the other side and I asked him if I could go on the other side with him and he said yes but he would be in the middle so we couldn’t talk. He looked at me a lot and then I had to go to the restroom and was debating on giving him the note and when I was about to Diane came and I told her everything Anna told me to.
Then she left and I gave the letter to him after being really nervous and I walked away and Mikey kept looking at me. After the game I walked up to Mikey and gave him back his pen and reminded him to call me Friday he said he would.
Then I walked out to my car and followed him a while before I got to my car. He and I almost tripped over each other and we started laughing. Mikey also pointed out Scott‘s girlfriend while Scott was gone. I grew to hate Scott because what he did was uncalled for.
Anna bought me a soda and Mikey drank some and I drank the rest. I of course kept the cup. I used Jessica for an excuse to be able to be late getting home, but with the fight he had paperwork. That’s why I could talk to him about Scott; it was because he had to arrest the two. Hopefully I’ll find out who they were.
Man, I love that boy and I will do almost anything to hold onto him. What he doesn’t realize is I want to do physical stuff with him and I feel I am ready for some of it and I plan to talk to him. I’m going to tell him just that very soon.
January 28, 1994
My family went to the hospital and saw Caroline’s sister. When we got back I picked Morgan up and went to the game. Mikey was there of course but so was Timmy. It made me mad because we couldn’t talk and he didn’t look at me much.
He looked at Morgan trying to figure out who she was and I talked to Diane about Caroline’s sister and everything and informed her that I was also having guy problems and she said she knew those. I didn’t say who. I also talked to Terry.
I’m nervous that he’s mad because I wasn’t home to get the phone call, but Caroline’s sister came first. I miss Mikey so much I love him doesn’t that mean anything. Then I saw him and I was talking to Morgan and Mikey looked at me and got into Terry‘s car and they drove off and he looked at me and smiled. That made me happy, but I still miss him.
It took me 10 minutes to get Morgan home from the police station. I saw him and Terry walking in but he was home by the time I got back to town. I’m going to write him a letter soon. I haven’t written him one (a normal one) since the 10 page one that explained my feelings about just friends.
January 29, 1994
PRIMERO,
Well it’s been a long time since we’ve gotten to talk on the phone. Sorry I wasn’t home for the phone call Friday. Mom picked me up so we (dad, too) could go up to the hospital to see Caroline’s sister. I almost fainted when I saw the wound. I can’t stand blood, especially when it’s not mine. She was playing with the trigger and it went off she says she was stupid. I was talking to Diane last night about it and she said that accidents happen and we talked about it. She said don’t worry she’ll be OK.
I wanted to talk to you, but I was afraid you would get in trouble with Timmy being there. I’m growing to hate him more and more every time I see him because he keeps me from you and he looks so much like someone from my past.
I saw you look at my friend that was with me last night, but you didn’t look at me. She was Morgan from another school and I wanted to talk to you so much. I love you and miss you but I know we’ll be together again soon.
This might sound stupid but to me it feels like we’re changing. I still can’t put 2 and 2 together but it started when you said just friends. I liked it better before. I hate it this way. I do rather you do or not. Maybe it’s just because lately the only time we’ve seen each other is when you are at the game and I feel you’ll get in trouble if I go over to talk to you. Just say I can and you know I will. I just don’t want you to get in trouble, but I also want to be with you more. Know what I’m saying.
I got a Conway Twitty cassette and there’s a song on it that one of these days I want you to be able to say about me.
It’s called “I was the first.” you’ll have to listen to it. I think it summarizes my feelings of what I thought you wanted and what I was I am growing towards. I’ll try to rewrite the lyrics of it soon.
Well, I will write to you more, my love after this movie is over. It’s called “Where the Red Fern Grows”. I’ve seen it but dad wanted to see it and I try to save Saturdays and Sundays for family, that changes in March. I traded Saturday so I can go out on weekday games and to see you, the main reason. Write, talk, and see you soon. I can’t believe how much of a movie you can remember after four years of not seeing it. I miss you so much I hope you call soon. I miss your voice, tender to touch, and just being together. Love you. I also miss being able to talk and everything else we’ve done together. Good night I wrote the last section at 10 PM.
January 31, 1994 — A letter (finishing):
The lyrics to “I was the First” by Conway Twitty.
I was the first to hold you in my arms so tight
I was the first to thrill you with a kiss goodnight
I was the first to stir your feelin’s new and strange
I was the first and that’s the one thing he can’t change
I was the first to take advantage of your youth
I was the first to whisper love words for the truth
I was the first to break your heart in two and yet
I was the first and I know that you can’t forget
He can’t stop these feelings that keep runnin’ through his mind
Things you couldn’t help that happened long before his time
I know he won’t admit it but it’s true and Lord it hurts
To think that when he’s lovin’ you, I was the first
I was the first to kiss your lips and hold your hand
I was the first to ever touch you as a man
I was the first to take your innocence then run
I was your first; I took a girl and made a woman
We’ve already done the things that he’s got on his mind
Things you couldn’t help that happened long before his time
I know he won’t admit it but it’s true and Lord it hurts
To think that when he’s lovin’ you, I was the first
I know he won’t admit it but it’s true and Lord it hurts
To think that when he’s lovin’ you, I was the first
Sometimes he wishes he was me ’cause I was the first
Lord, I’d give anything if I had only been the last…
I think you get the point I want you to give me my first does that make sense. Anyway, it’s my feelings and it’s only because I love you as much as I do and you let me know plenty of times I don’t have to do anything “physical” to hold onto you, but what would you do if I told you I wanted to do some maybe not all the way right away, but there’s other “physical” things we can do that doesn’t mean all the way. I’m driving tomorrow and I want to see you. Anywhere, Anytime, Anyplace as you would say. Also stuff on Brandy and me with the note back and forth.
The phone call — we talked from 4:30 to 4:50. We made plans for us to meet at the library at 4 PM. His wife won’t be working but he’ll still go to the library. He asked when the next time I’ll have the car and that was when the conversation about the library came up. We talked about Morgan and how she goes to another school but she was visiting her grandma which is about five minutes from my house. He asked which direction and I told him. He said “Oh.”
I explained how it took us 10 minutes to get her home and how I tried to get back before he left but didn’t make it. I said 10 minutes speeding all the way. And he said yep that was going fast. And he asked me if my brother was working and I said “it’s Tuesday. No Monday. Yes he is.” And I said “and dad just left for Iowa” and he said “for work” I said “yes” he asked how he got up there and I said I let him use my car and I would pick it up in the morning. And then I said hopefully we will be getting the 4th vehicle soon from my uncle.
He asked about my grandma and I told him that she was getting around in a walker. And talked about how my uncle would be on oxygen for the rest of his life and that he had emphysema and he said that his dad was dying from that and the doctor said we couldn’t do anything but let him live his life to the fullest. We talked about how my godparents and I went shopping and how I don’t go for wants in style but for what I like and he agrees. Dad likes my clothes that I picked out. He also said that if we went by style that if everybody was jumping off cliffs would we do it because it’s in style. I didn’t say it but I would have three months ago that’s before I met Mikey. I don’t care what anybody says he’s done me good and he has made me feel like I deserve to live forever.
I told him about my clothes that I wear in pictures and what I would wear in senior pictures. Explained the one shirt I had and that he would see the other one tomorrow. He asked when I would be taking senior pictures and I said October or November. We also talked about Scott and how Mikey didn’t want to be the one To tell Anna that Scott was the one to do that and how he should have told her.
We also talked about Caroline’s sister and Diane (officer). Mikey heard about it, but he didn’t hear any names. He said a 357 (I believe) he apologized for not being able to talk to me, but Timmy kept talking and he wouldn’t go away. He also said he wanted to be able to talk to me more. And I smiled. He said he would try to call tonight and ask if I was getting lonely and I said yes he said because we haven’t been able to talk to each other lately and I said yes. Then he said he would if he could. I don’t look forward to his phone calls past 5 PM because he never can when he says he’ll try. (Understand) he told me that he liked my hero essay and that it was good. He also told me he hadn’t started the book yet and I told him it was OK because I won’t be able to start it until the summer. He said that he had to drop off his uniforms and I believe wash his car before he called me. That’s why he was late. He answered it as “it’s me”. He said “I hear you there” and “you know what I’m saying” a lot in the conversation. Those sayings always make me smile but so does him just calling me or seeing him. We talked about me having an 8 page letter (now 10).
08/02/2021 — Wow that song should have been a red flag for me. I mean it even says “take advantage of your youth” “Things you couldn’t help that happened long before his time” and “I was the first to take your innocence then run” so many lines that says what he was doing was wrong. I’m not sure if I ever gave him this letter or not, but it drives me crazy to see some of the songs we used as “Our Songs”. Anyway — it’s late and I need to go to bed. I might write more here when I’m not so exhausted.
Stop Police Sexual Violence 