October 1, 1993

The first day I met Mikey was at the homecoming game. It was a great night of spending time with my friends. Mikey was Scott’s partner (Scott was Anna’s boyfriend). We (Anna and I) said “Hi” to them and watched them for a little while. I was trying to figure out what she saw in Scott (he wasn’t all she had made him out to be, but looks aren’t everything). We didn’t talk much until the dance. Scott had left and Mikey stayed to watch the dance. Anna and I talked to him. I was a little nervous, since I had to stay by him the whole night. I found out that Anna knew him for a long time. Mom (Anna’s mom) is a police officer, so Anna knows a lot of them. Plus she was good friends with his youngest daughter.

Mikey asked if she was going home afterwards and when he added safely, we started laughing and then we explained everything we did that night after school left out. Everything from the teachers to driving 75 to 85 mph down both the major highways nearby {speed limit was 55}. That’s about all Mikey and I said to each other that night.

Mikey told us to be careful that if we weren’t he would have to give us a ticket. Anna started laughing and he said “you know I could.” I said, “But you would have to catch us first.”

Later that night he told us to leave the dance and go home. I said, “No, I’m going to wait until the crowd leaves.” So then we (Anna, Mikey, Lynn, and I) walked to my car. He said “now you guys be careful.” I started my car as I said, “always am.” Then he said, “then turn on your lights.” I said, “no it’s funnier this way.”

Anna asked if he wanted a ride to the station and he answered with a no that he could walk. So I decided to follow him to the station and he laughed at us and we laughed back.

Anna also apologized to me when we got to her house, because she realized that I would have taken him to the station, but that I would have been nervous. She knows my views on police officers. I don’t have a good outlook on them due to my past. I was nervous that whole night with Mikey but I had fun and things have changed. (I’m not nervous around him anymore. It took me becoming terrified to do that [more details when we get to the date of October 9, 1993] now I have to admit to falling for him [more details when I get to the date of November 20, 1993.]*

*12/16/93 — You know to this day I don’t know what caused me to trust him. I mean we left each other on the 9th with me being terrified and then by the 5th I trusted him and by the 9th of November I was falling for him. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

October 9, 1993

Well it was eight days after the homecoming day that I was with Mikey again. Anna and I had gone by the station before, but never saw him. I also learned his nicknames, which were Hercules and Toothless (I still call him that sometimes). I found that out on homecoming night. It was the parade for the festival that we met up with him again. The details are coming now.

Then we found a parking place where Mikey was close by. (We had seen him when we left to take one of our friends to work.)  We were so hyper and we were laughing all the time. Mikey came over all the time, too. We were talking to him and we were all carrying on when Mr. Higgins came out of the high school. Mr. Higgins smiled at us and I told him to stay for the parade and he smiled and said, “no you know I don’t like that kind of stuff. Anyway it looks like you’re busy as it is anyway.” Then we all started laughing again and Mr. Higgins said, “see you Monday and be good.” Then we started laughing even harder and he said, “I know that’s so hard for you.” When he left Mikey asked, “are you sure you haven’t had anything to drink tonight”. I said, “no I’m positive we have – let’s see what all have we had: two cokes, a cup of tea, and don’t forget the water.” We all started laughing again.

Finally the parade started we were laughing the whole time and we were giving him candy and stuff (candy wrappers mainly.) The car we were selling tickets for got too hot and Mikey and us girls started laughing all over again.

When the parade was over, we waited for him. Anna was making fun of how he was directing traffic. He was dancing, she said. Then he had us move the Roadblocks and Anna didn’t understand what he wanted done so I went over to help. It was so funny.

When we left, we had just seen Mikey get in the police car for a ride up to the station. Then we followed him and I had this weird feeling so I turned into the doctor’s office to bug Mikey some more, well to find out his car was parked in that same parking lot and he was walking toward us. Was it fate, was it just supposed to happen, or did it just happen.

He came over to my car window and we were eating runts. We asked him if he wanted any of them and he said, “Sure, I’ll take the cherries. I love cherries.” I knew what he was getting at because we had been joking about that up at “Anna and my corner”. So I said “well, personally I like the bananas better.” He said, “any girl with their cherry is fine with me.” And I said, “Anna, give me all the greens.” We were all joking around but I was still nervous about it then he started looking for his keys. Checking in each pocket to find them. Then he looked in the car — all this time we were joking with him about everything. He said, “I locked my keys in my car, can you guys bring me to my house.” I looked at Anna and said, “For Anna.”

Then he got into the car, which was the seat behind me and believe me I was more scared than I ever have been before. I said, “I guess this means you need me to take you back.” Then he said, “that would be nice.” **12/16/93 – I still wonder if he ever locked his keys up, because on 11/20/93 he told me he didn’t lock his car. I’ll ask him some time.

Then I got scared and I couldn’t get my car started. He put his hand on my shoulder and of course I jumped, but first I slapped him and jumped turning myself all the way around in my seat.

Finally, I started driving, nervous of course. I mean I had a uniform police officer in my car. Before I knew it he was putting his hands on Angie’s knee and she screamed. He did it a lot; needless to say, even if it wasn’t me I still got even more scared. I was terrified. I didn’t go right away at a stop sign and he put his hand on my shoulder the second time I almost started crying, but I held my tears back. My stomach felt like it was going to explode.

Then he did it a third time and kept saying drive like you normally do. I looked over at Anna and she said, “don’t you even think about it.”

Finally we got to his house and he went inside. I was so scared so I talked to Anna and Angie about it with tears in my eyes. Luckily he got a family phone call, because then we got to talk about what I was feeling at the time.

I also was too far into the highway and stopped another police officer from going on, which made me have to move my car. Anna wouldn’t let him ride in the front because she knew how nervous I was and how he was. And she told me that he wasn’t the right police officer to get rid of my nervousness and that he cheats on his wife. That got me even more scared. Angie moved over so that Mikey could sit behind Anna’s seat instead of mine.

Finally he came and started to come to my side. He finally got in the right place. I said, “I had to move the car because another police officer had to stop.” He told me that he figured something like that would happen because I was almost on the highway.

When he had gotten in the car at the house, he put his hand on my shoulder and I yelled, “quit it.” Then he left it there and I said, “please stop it,” almost in tears. Then we got on the highway and he said “drive like you normally would and turn down the radio.” I said, “you told me to drive like I normally do, right?” So I turned my radio up as loud as it could go. He said, “OK, turn it down.” Then we were talking about speed limits and he said he didn’t know. Angie had to scream at least five times each trip.

Then we drove around the police station and Mikey was getting mad because he told me not to and he slapped me on my shoulder. Then I saw Terry and I pulled over and talked to him and explained that he got locked out of his car and that Terry was going to kill himself if he didn’t quit that smoking. He started to say something involving me and I shook my head, which he got the point. Mikey kept saying “can we go now.” Then Terry said, “well we have to go.” So I brought Mikey to his car and he got out and opened up his car. Then we asked him if he wanted any more cherries and he said as many as he could get so Anna got them and I said, “let me have the green.”

He smiled at me and hit me in the shoulder. Then he got into the car and I backed up and stopped. At first I wasn’t for sure if he would look back because he started to back up. Then he did and he pointed his finger at me and we left.

03/27/2003 — why was I so blind? All I would have had to do was reread this over and over and over again and know exactly what kind of a SOB he was going to turn out to be. All he ever did was think of himself, and I should have known that by this day alone. How stupid can one person be. I’m so glad I have my now Michael and don’t have to find anybody else. I was so stupid. I hope other women don’t fall for the same stupid no good for nothing SOB I did. Of course I know they will and that won’t be my fault, or would it?

05/31/2021 — Although I still wish I had reread this page over and over again. I also know stupid wasn’t the word for it. I was young and maybe even naïve, but it was not my fault on what all he ended up putting me through. He was the adult and any good 45 year old police officer would have never talked to 16 year olds like this. Any good police officer would not have continued the jokes or touching someone who clearly told him to quit it or in Angie’s case screamed. However, he kept touching us on that trip to and from his house. So many red flags on that day alone, but I’m also looking at it through the eyes of an adult — one that is almost as old as he was when he did this. It’s common sense that he was not being professional or being a good police officer — now that I look back, but I was only 16 at this time and honestly believed that it was my past that was causing all the fear when I was around him or when he would touch me that day.

Between Oct 10, 1993 and Nov 5, 1993

We went by his house and the police station all the time. I believe I had already started falling for him then because I love being able to see him, but I know I am now. And that’s dangerous because he’s married with two daughters (one only a few years older than me.) He was also divorce with at least one son. And he doesn’t love his wife, but that doesn’t make it right. I feel awful falling for him, but by November 29th I have and I will have to get over him very soon, but we will be friends. We’ll see what happens.*12/16/93 – then = between the dates of October 10th, which I was still terrified of him I know this because I wrote about it in my other dairy, and November 5, 1993